... anymore
But I used to. Oh I
used to.
I don’t buy the whole argument that you don’t celebrate
Valentine’s Day because it’s a “commercial holiday” made up by the evil, evil
Sees Candy and Hallmark Corporations to sell more cards and candy and make us
feel bad about ourselves. No, you hate
Valentine’s Day for the same reason that everyone else hates Valentine’s
Day. Because just like little Summer—
the only mixed girl in a class of Espirit wearing Asian and White girls, with
their long hair and white Keds. Summer,
a half foot taller than all the boys with her little shaved halfro and homemade
dresses—just like little Summer, you got rejected on Valentine’s Day every year
of your school going life. You didn’t
get as many Valentines as your “best friend.”
The boy you liked avoided eye contact with you all day as you searched
your little brown paper Valentine bag for something from him. Nothing.
And as you got older and the people “going together” started
asking each other to the Valentine’s dance, no one asked you. Or maybe someone did ask you but it was that dorky guy from your French class who
looked like Doug from the cartoon.
Ok. My Valentine’s Days didn’t always suck. But I like to believe it always did because
it is totally lame (especially in the Bay Area) to have great memories of high
school, prom, or Valentine’s Day. Yes,
friends. I hated it. Just like you.
But I don’t anymore. I
didn’t get some loving, thoughtful romantic boyfriend. I didn’t start working for Hallmark or Sees or
become a producer on ‘Say Yes to the Dress.’
I didn’t even develop some new kind of self-confidence that allows me the
enlightened perspective to live above the
needling voice that tells me there’s something wrong with me for not being
married already.
I don’t hate it anymore because I think of all my girlfriends
and their relationships. They work so
hard. Both of them work so hard. And even in the most loving supportive
relationships—which few people have the good fortune to be in anyways—we forget
to show our love for each other. Our
good night kisses become exhausted pecks.
Our ‘I love you’s sound hollow and obligatory. Our date nights we spend grocery shopping… at
the expensive store. All of our
interactions are reasonable. Our plans
are thought out well in advance.
Then Valentine’s Day comes around. And for those of us that have spent the
majority of our lives in relationships where we were taken for granted, where I
guy wouldn’t even admit he was dating us let alone enlist our best friend in
picking out the perfect flowers or piece of jewelry. For those people, Valentine’s Day was a day
for that person-- that we knew really cares about us-- to make up
for being an asshole for the whole rest of the year.
On Valentine’s Day your reserved, over-worked wife or girl
friend has an excuse to break out the sexy lingerie, which she has kept from
doing before because she doesn’t want you to get used to it. Your reasonable partner can blow way too much
money on dinner for the 2 of you. The
shitty “artist” boyfriend of yours writes you a song. Valentine’s Day is the day the person who
needs an excuse to make a fool out of themselves for you, because they love you
gets that extra societal nudge to get off their ass and make you feel special.
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